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Entry 27 - Restless Night... [Jul. 27th, 2009|11:42 am]
[Current Mood | exhausted]
[Current Music |background noise of Kevin and Kyle each talkin on their phones to someone else..]

Who knew a night could be so restless... I felt shitty when going to bed, and I still felt shitty towards 3AM... Towards 4AM I was still feeling as shitty as ever... to the point where I started crying at 3, and looked up to see it 4:15AM and still crying my heart out...

Not since about 2 years ago did I ever feel this bad... That nobody was here for me and that I felt so much like a failure, that I couldn't do anything right at all... Gosh I felt so horrible, I wanted to scream and die and cry all at once... What was worse, I wasn't able to find Little Geo that I could cling to as I cried, so all I had was a big pillow.

I know people are there for me, I know that everyone thinks I'm bright and that I'd be great for a job and everything else... but has anyone ever wondered how *I* thought of all that? I guess not a lot... I don't know I just felt really bad for a bit, but when I finally decided to pick my head up and look at my wall, I saw a poem that Geo had written me and just started shakily humming to myself the words before actually singing them to myself and adding in more words to it, it got me smiling and a lot more relaxed so I put my head down after seeing it was at least 4:50ish, and ended up falling asleep when my head hit the pillow because of how exhausted I was...

I love Geo so much, it always makes me feel better seeing, hearing, or saying anything that has to do with him, because he's brought so much happiness to my heart since the day I decided NOT to ignore my feelings to him any longer... I hope he's doing okay and holding up well on his end.. I miss him so much...

I'm gonna go lay down for a bit or something... Still feeling pretty down but okay for the while...

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Entry 26 - Thoughts... Songs.. [Jul. 25th, 2009|07:17 pm]
[Current Mood | blank]
[Current Music |New Divide - Linkin Park]

Plenty of times I do ask myself if I ever deserved half the good and bad things thats happened to me... Also lately a few songs have been in my head

Of course a lot of times I still ask myself if I deserve Geo, but every night I'm able to tell myself before I fall asleep that I do.. I love you Geo, so much...

Linkin Park - New Divide-
I remembered black skies, the lightning all around me
I remembered each flash, as time began to blur
Like a startling sign, that fate had finally found me
And your voice was all I heard, that I get what I deserve

So give me reason
To prove me wrong
To wash this memory clean
Let the thoughts cross
The distance in your eyes
Give me reason
To fill this hole
Connect the space between
Let it fill up to reach the truth and lies
Across this new divide

There was nothing inside, the memories left abandoned
There was nowhere to hide, the ashes fell like snow
And the ground caved in, between where we were standing
And your voice was all I heard, that I get what I deserve

So give me reason
To prove me wrong
To wash this memory clean
Let the thoughts cross
The distance in your eyes
Across this new divide

And every loss and every lie
And every truth that you deny
And each regret and each goodbye
Was a mistake too great to hide

And your voice was all I heard
But I get what I deserve

So give me reason
To prove me wrong
To wash this memory clean
Let the thoughts cross
The distance in your eyes
Give me reason
To fill this hole
Connect the space between
Let it fill up to reach the truth and lies
Across this new divide

Across this new divide
Across this new divide





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Entry 25 - Questions, small update I guess... [Jun. 28th, 2009|01:57 am]
[Tags|, , , , ]
[Current Mood | distressed]
[Current Music |Shrek 2 - movie]

I feel... Odd...

I was just watching a movie with Tes when it ended and we had watched Underworld... I kept saying that I had the other underworld but she kept telling me I didnt... I ended up ransacking my own room, and over and over I kept asking myself... Am I going crazy?

I know I had it.. I HAVE it!... but that was the same thing I said about several other movies... Is someone taking them? Do I not remember whether or not I have them out borrowed...? I'm almost in tears because everyone's damn lines are going through my head...

Caroline - You clean your room and you'll know where things are

Dad - You never know half the shit you have
         You don't know what you have
         You forget half the shit you buy, hell you never even use it!

---------------

Am I going crazy....

Do I need a break from family? I miss Geo... I really really miss him... I just wish he knew how much, this is tearing me apart... I'm always about to near break and say Hey, I've got a damn boyfriend online and I miss him so I'm gonna go and be or talk with him on the phone, you got a fucking problem with it? Kiss my ass!

-Sighs-

But of course I can't go and pull that... I have showered for days, I stink in pool water, my clothes are all scattered and unwashed... To be honest, I've been wanting to get off the last week or so but have no chance of doing so until Tes and Caroline leave...

Caroline even bought B & J and I haven't touched it... I feel... Wrong... Rejected somehow... A Failure to myself...

Yes, all this over because I couldn't find the stupid Underworld movie that I swore I had...

Bowling went okay friday night, Dad went for the first time finally... and he was pretty into it, clapping and giving high fives when I got a spare or such... But I'm still having that feeling that All I am doing is irritating people by bowling... or that I joined up to begin with because it made Dad have a point to be proud of something that I could do...

I can't play basketball, I can't do Tennis, I can't do volleyball, I obviously can't do football or baseball or even golf, let alone a swim team... But I can use my strength and bowl... The worst that can happen is that I slip and fall wrong, smash my fingers on the ball somehow, little things like that...

But every time I go... Its like he's hating it.. Like he doesn't want me to bowl but won't tell me... If money is the reason why then just tell me.. It'll be hard but I'll quit for a year or so... I mean... Nobody goes to see me... not even Once...

Stephanie did, Sharon did... But Tim and Stephen find every reason to not go... My grandfather never went either.. and neither would my Uncle...I don't see how I can't do anything to impress anyone anymore... I mean... Even MOM got up and came on even days that she didn't feel too swift.. but when she didn't go, she would always be awake when I came home and asked immediately how it went...

I miss her.. I miss being able to talk to her and get things off my chest, I miss having a friend around me that I could talk to and lay things off my chest... I mean yeah I got the guys online and of course my baby... They do a lot for me, especially Geo... On a side note I do have to admit that Kevin's been nice to talk to sometimes too.. but thats Kevin, its Geo that I want, its Geo that I rely on so much more.. Kevin's a nice guy, yes he likes-loves, whatever me, Way back when he was really showing feelings... I NEVER let up once that I would ever go to him.

I'm happy where I am, I'm with the man I love, and no matter what any other man says or does to me... My heart is set, and settled with one man only... and thats George A. Rangel.

Any other guys can love me as much as they want, but I found my husband, and no I'm NOT speaking too soon, I found my husband and thats final.. even if its 6 years from now, I found him and I'm not gonna lose him..

I'm like throwing subject to subject around here but I'm starting to feel slightly better... I guess all I needed to do was do a big write.. Heh.. Sorry if its a lot of ramble ramble, I mean it was either this or I lay in bed crying, holding myself back from calling up Geo or something...

I lay my life before him... I trust him with my life, I always think of him so much, even to the point where I'm almost late for appts or even bowling because I want to spend every moment that I can with him, even if it is just over the comp... I love him... I Love him so much...

Sometimes I'm almost scared that if I love him too much... He might think I'm too much or obsessed... I'm trying my hardest not to be the clingy type... I just don't want to throw him the wrong thoughts and such...

I'm horribly tired now.. I've drinkin 4 diet cokes.. Gone to the fair tonight, driven back and forth today.. Swam and got my leg to cramp up... then all this... So.. Goodnight to all and to myself.. and to my love...

Until next time..

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Entry 24 - Update... Thoughts... Geo.. [Jun. 23rd, 2009|12:34 am]
[Tags|, , , , , ]
[Current Mood | crushed]

I'm sitting here... its like 12:36AM on Monday night/morningish.... We just got back from seeing my cousins with Caroline and the kids, it was quite funny and fun really...

I asked Stephen why they never come see me bowl and his reply was:

"
I don't go to West Lane because its a ghetto bowling alley."


I don't know why.. I just... At first it irked me.. but then it kinds stung... Then I just... started thinking.. and more thinking...

Then I was standing outside in the dark ass street... and I almost started crying so I started singing just random things to myself... and Geo was on my mind... I miss him so so much these days... I hope he knows that, I feel bad that he doesn't sleep well or probably even eat well because he's missing and thinking of me so much... Sometimes I even ask myself, is it worth to be missing me that much? I mean am I really THAT great to him? I don't want to be a disappointment... Hell I feel like crying right now as I type this because I love him sooo much... Stephanie gets to live with her boyfriend, my other cousin Jennifer is now engaged.... out of the "Three Wild Cousins" I'm the only one left... Again...

I just want to be in his arms... I want to be able to spend more time with him, now my sister and them are staying until the 30th instead of the 26th, even Tesla(daughter) isn't happy about it... We both just want to be home with our own life style and relax before all the crazy school and just.. winter stuff start up again...

Dad ended up having his big toe removed on the right foot due to infection to the knuckle of the toe... All he does is chew me out and tell me that I'm not good and that he wants me out of the house and just all this stupid stuff

I'm doing okay I guess... I did bowl a 213 last Tuesday finally! It was awesome! Heh... After Stephen made his comment and I went outside, I was thinking to myself, why did I get into bowling to begin with? What happened with everyone being like all excited with me about it but now its like "Oh joy, more bowling, god its so boring" and blah blah... Whatever happened to supporting a family member in what they love or do every once in a while? Stephanie, has actually at least SURPRISED me of coming to the alley during one of my Leagues one day with her boyfriend  and sat for like 30 minutes... and Sharon has come a few times now too... But I get nothing from Stephen and Tim, and them two going on of how boring it is and such, it makes me feel like shit to be honest

When Stephen said that West Lane Alley was a Ghetto Alley, I flat out turned around and said "Fine, I'm ghetto then" and walked out...

George.. Baby I'm sorry I'm away so much, I miss you with all of my heart, I have trouble sleeping and waking because its not to you anymore.. I'd do ANYTHING to hear you these days... or even Emails or posts on here, something, just small messages or something would help me out.. I want to help you out but I don't know how... I... Geo I miss you so much...

Thats all for now... But I hope things are going okay... I'll try to post the next few days events maybe....




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Entry 23 - Song I liked... [May. 7th, 2009|05:22 pm]
[Tags|, ]
[Current Music |When I'm with you - Fable Drive]

"When I'm With You"

Saw you walk into the room
Thought I'd try to talk to you
Babe am I ever glad you wanted me to
It's been two years to the day
Half the time I've been away
I know I'm not there enough but that's gonna change
'cause I'm coming back
To show you that I'm keeping the promise I made

When I'm with you I'll make every second count
'cause I miss you
Whenever you're not around
When I kiss you
I'll still get butterflies years from now
I'll make every second count when I'm with you

Yeah we've had our ups and down
But we've always worked them out
Babe am I ever glad we've got this far now
Still I'm lying here tonight
Wishing I was by your side
'cause when I'm not there enough
Nothing feels right
So I'm coming back to show you that
I'll love you the rest of my life

When I'm with you
I'll make every second count
'cause I miss you
When ever you're not around
When I kiss you I'll still get butterflies years from now
I'll make every second count
When I'm with you
Whatever it takes I'm not gonna break the promise I made
When I'm with you
I'll make every second count
'cause I miss you

When I'm with you
I'll make every second count
'cause I miss you
Whenever you're not around
When I kiss you
I'll still get butterflies years from now
I'll make every second count
(Make every second count)
When I'm with you
When I'm with you
When I'm with you
When I'm with you
Yeah

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Entry 22 - Random stuff again [Mar. 25th, 2009|10:07 pm]
[Current Mood | bouncy]
[Current Music |My own humming!]

1. Sleep with or without clothes on?
Without!

2. Prefer black or blue pens?:
Both?

3. Dress up on Halloween?:
Depends

4. Like to travel?:
Not by Plane

5. Like someone?:
Like? Maybe...

6. Do they know?:
I don't think I'm too obvious about it... ^-^

7. Who sleeps with you every night?:
Geo! (I wish the real Geo, but for now, my little snow leopard

8. Think you're attractive?:
No

9. Want to get married?:
Yes

10. To?:
He knows exactly who it is!

11. Are you a good student?:
Yes, but secretly no, and I'm not a student anymore

12. Are you currently happy?:
Wish I could be happier

13. Have you ever cheated?:
Hell No

14. Birthplace?:
San Joaquin

15. Christmas or Halloween?:
Both

16. Colored or black-and-white photo?:
Depends on the photo <- What he said

17. Do long distance relationships work?:
Not all the time, but if you have faith and a lot of trust, they can

18. Do you believe in astrology?:
....What?

20. Do you believe in love at first sight?:
Used to..

21. Do you consider yourself the life of the party?:
In my group? Yeah

22. Do you drink?:
No

23. Do you make fun of people?:
Playfully

24. Do you think dreams eventually come true?:
Yes

25. Favorite fictional character?:
Hmmm....Not sure really

26. Go to the movies or rent?:
Go to the movies!!

27. Have you ever moved?:
Yes, so many times I've forgotten how many

28. Have you ever stolen anything?:
No, besides a roll of tape from the hospital, ha ha

29. How's the weather right now?:
Nippy

30. Last time you cut your hair?:
Long ass time ago

31. Last person you talked to on the phone?:
Hmmm ... I heard Geo's voicemail, that was about it

32. Last time you showered?:
Few days ago.. I need one

33. Loud or Soft Music?:
Both

34. McDonalds or Burger King?:
Burger King!

35. Night or day?:
Night

36. Number of Pillows?:
4 lol

37. Piano or guitar?:
Piano

38. Future job?:
Erm... Not sure

39. Current job?:
None, besides being a Fiance' to someone =P

40. Current love?:
George!

41. Current longing?:
Geo, what else?

42. Current disappointment?:
"All the good ones are always so far away..."

43. Current annoyance?:
Justin on Skype

44. Last thing you ate?:
Subway!

45. Last thing you bought?:
Subway? LOL

46. Most recent thing you are looking forward to?:
Spending time with Geo and my sister

47. What are you wearing right now?:
Jeans, socks, shoes, bra, panties, tank top and shirt

48. Plans for this weekend?:
Last day of bowling on Saturday, possibly Monday too, spending time cleaning the damn house again

49. What did you do today?:
Drove Sister up to Modesto to see dad, stayed up there until like 8:30PM

50. Pick a lyric, any lyric or song:
What about Now, What about Today

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Entry 21 - Random Survey [Feb. 25th, 2009|08:18 pm]
[Current Mood | loved]
[Current Music |typing! wee!]

1 - When was the last time you cried?
Few nights ago, I wanted to be with Geo really bad.. bed gets real lonely these nights

2 - Have you ever faked sick?
Not really, sometimes during school but most of the time it was not faking..

3 - What was the last lie you said?
Not for many years

4 - Have you ever cried during a movie?
I get teary, thats pretty much it

5 - Who was the last person you couldn't take your eyes off of?
Geo!

6 - Have you ever danced in the rain?
No, I've barely even had a kiss in the rain before.. meh

7 - Have you ever been drunk?
No

8 - Have you ever tried drugs?
No

9 - Do you smoke?
No, but recent things are starting to worry me...

10 - What's the farthest you've ever gone on a dare?
Oh dear god... fucking high school...NO COMMENT!

11 - What is your full name?
Patricia Mari-Lynn Tsuda

12 - What is your blood-type?
How the hell would I know..?

13 - Have you ever been in a car accident?
One- My grandmother didn't notice that the car stopped on the train track and she rear ended them, not too hard but it was a good jolt

14 - How old were you when you recieved your first kiss?
3rd grade so...8, 9 or 10?

15 - Who was your first kiss?
I remember mine... cute kid too, I say about..3rd grade I met this kid and he lived right across the street, we were in a friend's "tree house" and just suddenly pecked, LOL its kinda cute when I remember it now.. I'm just glad the first kiss wasn't some crummy little shit head, ROFL and his name was Jason

16 - Have you ever had an online relationship?
A few... only about 2 now possibly 3 were good

17 - Have you ever had phone-sex?
Guilty... ^-^;;

18 - Have you ever been rejected by a crush?
Mhm..

19 - What is your favorite sport to play?
BOWLING!

20 - Have you ever made a prank phone call?
Yes

21 - Have you ever said yep?
little

22 - What's your favorite childhood memory?
Hmmm...Camping on the beach with my cousins

23 - Is there anything that you have done that you regret?
...Yes

24 - What do you want to be when you grow up?
Don't ask me this, I don't know

25 - What is your political persuassion?
Uh....

26 - Have you ever had cybersex?
Em...Guilty! ^-^;;

27 - Do you believe in god?
Yes and No

28 - Do you believe in love at first sight?
Not really

29 - Do you believe in karma?
Hell yes

30 - Who was your first crush?
Bobby Mooney- NO joke, kindergarden, lives a few blocks from me too, scary isn't it?

31 - Who do you have a crush on?
Nobody

32 - How would you describe yourself?
Ask the others, although everyone's been telling me I have a sexy ass lately... >.> kinda annoyin nowa days

33 - What are you afraid of?
Lots of things

34 - Are you religious?
No

35 - What does your screen name mean?
Zaba33- It was short of the Abba Zabba candy, rofl

36 - What person do you trust the most?
Me, Myself and I

37 - Who was your first boyfriend/girlfriend?
Bobby Mooney(kindergarden- and screw the spelling)

38 - What is the best compliment you have ever recieved?
Hmm...Besides the ones about my ass, I'd say... people keep telling me I have great talents

39 - What is the meanest thing anyone has said about you?
Several things.. screw it

40 - What is the longest crush/relationship you have had?
4 years...(online) and Nearly 2 years (In Real Life)

41 - What is your greatest strength?
Not sure

42 - What is your greatest weakness?
self- esteem, and many other things, like being yelled or sworn at

43 - What is your perfect pizza?
Cheese and Sausage!

44 - What is your first thought when waking up in the morning?
"I wish Geo was here to keep me warm and so I didn't have to get up"

45 - What is your first thought before you go to bed?
Something about Geo

46 - What college do you want to go to?
Eh... none for now

47 - Do you get along with your family?
Most of the times, except Dad here and there

48 - Do you play any instruments?
used to play drums

49 - What kind of music do you like?
mixture

50 - Do you think you're attractive?
No

51 - Would you ever get a tattoo?
No

52 - How many piercings do you have?
had my ears pierced, they're probably closed now

53 - Who makes you laugh?
Mostly friends and Geo

54 - Who would you want to be tied to for 24 hours?
Geo! Who wouldn't want to be tied to him? But too bad! HE'S MINE!

55 - Have you ever seen a dead body?
.....

56 - Do you have a celebrity crush?
Jackie Chan? ROFL

57 - What is one thing scientists should invent?
Dunno

58 - Have you ever broken a bone?
No

59 - What happens after you die?
What the hell kind of question is that?!

60 - Do you watch or read the news?
Online news is fun

61 - What stereotype would you label yourself as being?
Uh...

62 - Would your friends agree with that stereotypic label?
.......

63 - If you could change your name, what would you change it to?
Mari or Jenna

64 - If you could go back in time to one point in your life, where would you go?
November 13, 2007.......

65 - If you could change anything about yourself, what would you change?
A lot

66 - Have you ever gone skinny dipping?
Nope

67 - Have you ever played strip poker?
Nope

68 - Would you ever lie to someone to make them feel good about themselves?
No, but I'd speak with them and try not to make them feel bad

69 - What do you want your friends to think about you?
Not my opinion of what they think

70 - Whats the biggest argument you've ever gotten into?
Dad,  many times

71 - Have you ever bitten someone?
Hehehe, I usually nibble

72 - When's your birthday?
August

73 - Have you ever stolen anything?
No

74 - Do you make wishes on shooting stars?
Never seen one

75 - Whats the most you've ever eaten in one sitting?
Uh.. a lot to where I couldn't move

76 - If you could go back and change one day, what would it be?
Already answered, #64

77 - Do you remember your dreams?
lot of times

78 - Have you ever been in love?
Yes, and I know I am again

79 - Are you a morning person or a night person?
Night baby!

80 - Do you have any phobias?
Erm... yea

81 - What's the meanest thing you've ever done to someone?
Nothing besides accidently let my shoe fly off into a guy's crotch

82 - Have you ever been to the hospital (other then birth)?
Yes

83 - How many screen names do you have?
2?

84 - Do any medical problems run in your family?
I don't really know

85 - Has anyone ever been disowned from your family?
No?

86 - Have you ever had a nightmare?
Plenty

87 - Do you say meaner things to your friends or your enemies?
I never say mean things to friends and not really to anyone

88 - Would you ever participate in a threesome?
Oh yea..

89 - Would you ever pay for a prostititue?
No?

90 - Have you ever mooned or flashed someone?
No

91 - Have you ever cheated on your bf/gf?
Hell, No

92 - Have you ever laughed so hard you peed in your pants?
Nopey

93 - Have you ever written a love letter?
Yes

94 - Have you ever attempted suicide?
No...

95 - Do you prefer boxers or briefs?
Hmm.. boxers

96 - Have you ever been in a fistfight?
No, I've been kicked down, but never fought back

97 - Do you have any hidden talents?
Not really

98 - What is one thing you want me to know about you?
Nothing?

99 - What is one question you wouldn't want me to ask?
Any time about November

100 - Do you usually prefer books or movies?
both

101 - Who is your favorite person to talk to?
Geo

102 - Who is always able to cheer you up when you're sad?
Geo, sometimes Kevin or the others

103 - Would you ever have sex before marriage?
Have already

104 - Who do you talk to most on the phone?
All the guys, rofl, meh

105 - Do you have a secret that you're ashamed of?
don't know really..

106 - Do you prefer british or american spelling of words?
I dunno.. lol

107 - Have you ever gotten detention?
Yes, mostly for not having work done

108 - How do you vent your anger?
yelling or just bottling it..

109 - Have you ever been on a diet?
No, and I don't want to be

110 - Would you ever date someone younger than you?
Did, didn't work out

111 - Is your best friend a virgin?
Uh...which one?

112 - What's a rumor someone has spread about you?
Many that I don't care to think of

113 - What's the kinkiest thing you could ever actually see yourself as doing?
Oh... Noooothin..hehe

114 - What's the meanest thing anyone has ever done to you?
Don't really remember anything..

115 - What's the nicest thing anyone has ever done for you?
My ex's parents took me with them to Austrailia

116 - Have you ever been diagnosed with a mental illness?
Uh...

117 - Have you ever cut yourself on purpose?
No

118 - Have you ever wanted to murder someone?
Yes, but would never act

119 - Have you ever hated someone?
Yes

120 - Do you prefer talking on the phone or online?
Depends

122 - Would you ever tell the person you have a crush on that you like them?
yea

123 - Have you ever had a crush on an enemy?
Stupidly yes, until I knew how much of an ass they were

124 - Have you ever had a crush on a best friend?
No

125 - What is your favorite book?
lots

126 - Do you have a collection of anything?
books

127 - Are you happy with the person you are becoming?
mostly

128 - Are you a different person now then you were 5 years ago?
yes

129 - What do you see yourself as being in 5 years from now?
Hopefully with the love of my life, maybe even with a kid (or one on the way)

130 - Are you happy with the life you have?
For now, Yes I do ^-^


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Entry 20 - Lonely.. [Feb. 19th, 2009|04:30 pm]
[Current Location |Home]
[Current Mood | lonely]
[Current Music |Everything]

I can't help but sit here, wanting and desiring to be in my love's arms right now...

A lot of times I ask myself, why the hell did I agree into another long distance relationship, it kills me so much... One minute I could be laughing and having fun, and then I suddenly feel real bad cause I want to be held.. but I can't because he's so far away...

I tried to ignore it for a month, I said no way, yea he's cute and very kind, and I fell in love with how he RPed which was close to how I did, but No, I'm resisting it, Its all gone bad in the past and my recent near 2 yr relationship went bad, the hell with it all...


How could I NOT resist that charming, caring, loving and wonderful man.... He's nearly the same as me, we RP alike, we think alike(usually), He's around my age, yea 2 years older but still..I'm right behind him in age area. He's so wonderful to me... I fell in love with him because of his personality, the way he treats me and how he gets along with me, How could I resist it? Even he was fighting it for so long but he was the one that gave in... and I had to give in afterwards, I HAD TO... I love him so much.. I couldn't possibly let the chance of someone else being able to share that kind of life with him.. I could not bare it right now. He's mine and that is all there is to it!

He's shared a lot about his life with me as I with him... We've both lost a parent dear to us, we've both been put through rough relationships.. I just can't help but love him to death.. He's my babylove!

So much I keep thinking of how I can do something to get us to meet at least once so I know for sure he's the one I want, I can't help but think that he IS the one I want... Even if its 3 years from now that we meet, I don't care, I love him so damn much I'll wait till I'm old and grown to be with him.

Babylove I think the world of you.. I couldn't ever think of being without you, I really couldn't... Don't ever leave me, babe.. I'll always be here for you no matter what

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Entry 19 - Update, Opinions, Random? [Feb. 14th, 2009|10:41 pm]
[Current Mood | okay]

Its been a while since I've updated and I'm sorry, I know I should have more often but oh well, my bad, I'm updating now! Hehe...


Well, Things were rocky from the beginning with Dad... He had 4 surgeries on his leg due to blood clots and he's been in like a therapy home since December, should be coming home within 2 weeks maybe.

I'm still with the love of my life, Geo! Hehe, I will always be with him I swear, I love him so much! I feel so in love with him, my stomach leaps each time I see him log in on skype or even The Night. My heart soars when I see his name come up on my cellphone when he calls. I just love being around him every minute and second of everyday of every week and month! Hehe I know I'm being too much.. I guess what I'm just trying to say is..


I'M IN LOVE MORE THAN EVER BEFORE!!!!!!!


Anyways... Hehe!


My sister in Las Vegas has been talkin about coming back out soon in April or so with the kids for 2 weeks, so I'm hoping to maybe plan something small with them...

No news from the sister in Oregon, I give up with her I swear... I love her kids to death, but she's obvious that she wants nothing to do with the family anymore, I mean look to where they moved! Pfft!


My bowling has improved a LOT! My new highest score ever is a 198 now, Hopefully that will change soon! I moved my finger positions to FingerTips now so I have a lot more curve and a bit more control of the ball, I love it! My average ranges from like between 141-156... I'm on two different teams in two different leagues right now. In the summer I plan to only bowl in ONE League and that will be the Junior/Adult League. Then in September when the WINTER Leagues start up again, I'll will be doing the same two that I am doing now, Saturday- Junior Major Leage and Monday- Junior/Adult League. It will be my LAST year in the Saturday League due to that I will be 21 by the next year and 21 is the limit, I may be able to play, but I do not think so, I really do not know at this time...

I really do not know what else to say for now, Maybe I'll write tomorrow or something, Moocho Luvies to all! Especially Geo!!





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